Perhaps one of my most favorite songs of all time is Tupac’s “Dear Mama”. This is because it not only showcases Pac’s timeless style, it also describes a mother very much like mine.
I’m not gonna lie that my mum and I have been best friends all my life. Thing is, we’re as different as night and day. Growing up we had a very turbulent relationship. This was most likely because we kept trying to transform each other into what we thought was the ideal mother/daughter.
My mum kept trying to transform me into a traditional Yoruba female and I always wondered why she couldn’t be like those cool moms they showed on TV ( I blame American cable).
I was the only female and as such, my mum had this idea of what she wanted me to be like. All that mother-daughter parenting power was focused on me and I didn’t like it one bit.
I challenged all the cultural ideals that my mum held dear. I didn’t understand why I had to cook while my brothers sat on their butts and why I couldn’t jump in through windows like they did. My mum was at her wit’s end.
The poor woman was not equipped to handle such a one as me and we quickly developed a pain in the backside relationship, figuratively for her and literally for me.
My mum was also viewed by my brothers and I as a party pooper. When dad arrived from his trips with truck loads of cookies, mum would dish em out in ones and twos. When dad would buy us snickers and “sun top” for school lunch, mum would make Macaroni (We hated Macaroni).
The worst part was the black and bitter “amala”, from the horrible Yam flour that was sold in Kaduna back then, that mum insisted on making. That “amala” almost ruined “amala” for me.
Eventually though, I grew up. I realized that my mum only wanted the best for me. She was trying to raise me the best way she knew how.
We started to understand each other and appreciate our differences and the results were amazing. She grew to become much more than my mum. She became a sister. She became a friend.
Truth is, my mum is an amazing person and everyone who knows her can attest to this. She leaves a positive mark wherever she goes and she has a space in her heart for everyone, no matter their status in life. She’s even more popular than me! (I call her SUG President)
My mother is unselfish, she’s strong, she’s forgiving and she has relentlessly continued to make lemonade no matter how sour the lemons that life might hand her. She always has a smile and a hug waiting and what homecoming could be better than that.
It’s my mum’s birthday this week and this is a tribute to her. This goes out to you Mama. Ever ready clipper of my wings, avid kicker of my butt. Causer and subsequent wiper of my tears.
As you celebrate your birthday, I wish you many more years in peace, good health and harmony. I’m blessed to have you. Happy Birthday Mommy. Love you to teeny tiny bits.